By: Gina C. Anderson

Enduring Love…God’s Way

My husband and I met through an unconventional method, Match.com.  After trying singles groups, blind dates, and just waiting and waiting, a friend directed me to try Match.com. Almost instantly, I found Ian Anderson’s profile online and that one profile indeed changed my life forever.  After corresponding for a couple of weeks via email, we met for our first date, Valentine’s Day, 2003.  Two weeks later, he deployed to Iraq for a year.  We had an adventurous courtship; emailing and talking on the phone every two weeks.  But besides the adventure of it all, God gave us an opportunity to get to know each other the right way. 

It was an exciting time; it was also a scary time because of the unknown perils of war.  And then given his safe return, could we live a normal life together? E-mails and cards are great but living day-to-day takes a lot more effort.  But our fears were short-lived and upon his return, we were engaged and married within seven months.  After ten months of marriage, he was deployed to Iraq again for another year.  Except this time it was much different.  Our lives were intertwined and I was six months pregnant with our first child.  We were going to learn how difficult this deployment would be. 

I moved back to my hometown of Knoxville to be close to my mom and dad.  It was a painful separation from Ian but I felt God’s strength and I knew He had ordered our steps.  After three months away, Ian was able to come home for two weeks to be with me during the birth of our daughter, Ashley.  It was a glorious time!  The first week Ashley was born we had such a good time bonding and learning how to be parents together and then the truth hit us again, that he was going to leave for another eight months. 

I never expected to be a single-parent.  In fact I reminded God often that I had waited years for the right man, why did I have to walk this road? And yet His gentle hand sustained me through that year, teaching me every step of the way how to lean on Him.  Leaning on my Father sounds very spiritual, but it was not an easy road.  I discovered how difficult it was to sustain a relationship while sleep deprived, hormonal and feeling depleted of energy.  I found out that it takes more than an enduring love for your spouse; it takes an enduring love for God.  If God had brought us together, then let no man put asunder.   No man, no army, no time, no distance.  . 

There were tense moments, and being at a distant, miscommunications can be exaggerated.   You find that you have to communicate effectively and you have to communicate quickly.  There are only a few moments that your spouse can talk to you per day because there is a line of people waiting to use the computer or waiting to use the phone, so what you have to say has to be said concisely.  You say the things that are important and leave out the fluff.  We had to be creative.  I would send him cards from me and special cards from Ashley.  I would send him home videos with captions of what Ashley might say if she could talk.  He encouraged me throughout the year to go to the gym and lose the baby weight which was a great strength and gave me something to focus on while he was away.  

There were so many moments that I felt helpless and abandoned with my baby girl just begging God for some sleep and some moments to myself.  And yet again, He would quietly lift me up.  And He would quietly lift up Ian.  And through this deployment, we learned that an enduring love has to have deep roots.  Often, only through hardship, do those roots form and grow because they are grounded in One greater than us.  There has to be more beneath the surface than shows above the ground.  And sometime in the future, you will see the fruit that is produced.  Only through the sustaining love of Jesus can we thrive as a family and thrive as the body of Christ. 

For my family, we learned that coming home was just as challenging as the time away.  But we have prevailed through the transition and are understanding that we truly need Jesus every step of the way.  I have a beautiful and growing family.  We are expecting our second child in July and this time, Ian and I will be together with no painful goodbyes.  On Valentine’s Day, we always look back with gratitude for the way God brought us together.  But we also look at all of the circumstances God has brought us through since that momentous Valentine’s Day and how blessed we are to have each other and our children.  God’s plans always have purpose and He’s still writing our love story. 

So I encourage you this Valentine's Day to let Jesus be the enduring love you need.  Renew again your commitment to Him and hear His commitment to you.  Greater things are on the horizon.